MISSION UPDATE: FAMILIES DEALING WITH SUICIDE
We recently received a newsletter from Pender's supported missionaries, Ben and Jenny Reyes, serving in South America as Missionary Trainers. Please keep them in your prayers as well as the many families who are dealing with this kind of grief. May Ben and Jenny's testimony bring some comfort and hope to those who suffer this loss.
"To write about how we are doing in life and what we are doing in ministry has never been harder than now. After December 22, 2021, the day our son, Mathias, passed away, we felt disoriented, with nothing to offer. How can you minister to someone if you feel so empty, desperate, lost in your sorrow and grief? How can you help someone if you were not able to help your son? How can you give hope if you feel defeated? How can you offer relief if pain pierces your soul? These questions are not invented, they are real, they are part of our everyday lives.
In going through sorrow . . . and getting mad at God!, I (Jenny) started, timidly, almost unwillingly, talking to God again and reading the Bible again. I am reading the book of Job, for the third time. After a while into the suffering, and feeling there was no way out, I started to look at things from another perspective and the answer came.
The power to minister God’s Word does not come from us, but everything is, as Romans 11:36 says: “For from Him and through Him and for Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever! Amen.” This reminds me that I am not doing anything out of strength, for I have none, but out of His power. God is the One responsible to make His name known and He uses broken people, people who cannot rely on themselves, but only on Him. Right now, I am writing and crying, believing in God’s healing in this process, I know it is going to be a hard, long process, but we (Ben and I) are not alone.
I (Ben) sat to finish this newsletter several times and have not been able until now; Tuesday was especially difficult as it was three months to the day that Mat passed away.
Much of what Jenny wrote is true, yet, there is no anger towards God. His character, as revealed in the Scriptures, is one of justice, love, forbearance, and mercy; I cling to this revelation. The largest difficulty has been a deep sense of introspection, of guilt, of what I did wrong, of what I did correctly but not enough, of what could have been; the list is endless and at times, paralyzing.
In going through sorrow . . . and getting mad at God!, I (Jenny) started, timidly, almost unwillingly, talking to God again and reading the Bible again. I am reading the book of Job, for the third time. After a while into the suffering, and feeling there was no way out, I started to look at things from another perspective and the answer came.
The power to minister God’s Word does not come from us, but everything is, as Romans 11:36 says: “For from Him and through Him and for Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever! Amen.” This reminds me that I am not doing anything out of strength, for I have none, but out of His power. God is the One responsible to make His name known and He uses broken people, people who cannot rely on themselves, but only on Him. Right now, I am writing and crying, believing in God’s healing in this process, I know it is going to be a hard, long process, but we (Ben and I) are not alone.
I (Ben) sat to finish this newsletter several times and have not been able until now; Tuesday was especially difficult as it was three months to the day that Mat passed away.
Much of what Jenny wrote is true, yet, there is no anger towards God. His character, as revealed in the Scriptures, is one of justice, love, forbearance, and mercy; I cling to this revelation. The largest difficulty has been a deep sense of introspection, of guilt, of what I did wrong, of what I did correctly but not enough, of what could have been; the list is endless and at times, paralyzing.
In contrast, it has let me see God’s love in a strong, glaring light. He sees me for what I am, this shakes and denudes my psyche, my very being, and strips me of the carefully built façade of being good. Jesus did this when He spoke to the rich young ruler, asking him why he called Him good, for only One is good; God. Yes, He sees what I truly am, yet He loves me with deep, eternal love. Just as Mat’s death is incomprehensible, so is God’s love! This sustains me. Somehow, someway, we who name Jesus as Lord need to make His love known to others near and far."
For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:10b NIV)
Jenny and Ben Reyes
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